Who sheds a tear for the wannabe Canadian model ?

Saturday, and the sun is out. What a lovely day it is. Ah...
Oh bollocks, return to work next week, which is the day after tomorrow,
and just like the film by the same name, it gives a feeling of impending
doom and misery and doom, and hardship, and doom.. did I mention the
doom ?
I guess we all have to earn a living somehow, and most people find that
tiresome, right ? It's not that I'd want to not have to work, it's more
that, well, I just want it to not be so....boring. Something
fundamentally soul destroying about it. Love the people. Well, most of
them. Ok. Some of them.
If you don't like where you live, and you work somewhere you're not
happy so that you can afford to live somewhere you're not happy...
well.... what's the point of that then ? Life being too short and all
that.
It's nearly the end of January. Yeah 2010. The year it all happens, and
somehow, without me noticing, 8.33 % of it is already gone !
Having left the TV on, after watching some Will & Grace, I'm too lazy to
turn off or over from 'Canada's Next Top Model'. (1st of all, sorry Rob,
but who cares about who the next top model is, let alone one in Canada).
There's all these scrawny wannabes, complaining about their 'anxiety
disorders'. Is it is disorder that you get nervous in unfamiliar
situations or places ? Wow. Never knew that before. I get absolutely
terrified when I go somewhere new, meet people I don't know that well.
But bizarrely, I'd never think of describing that as some sort of
disorder. It's not a medical thing, surely, it's just a quirk of my
personality, and my confidence (or lack of) in certain situations.
I bet they spent ages with Doctors, or psychologists, getting 'help' for
their 'problem'. Can you medicate confidence ?
Also, if you know that these things are hard for you, why would you
decide that modelling is the career for you ? I mean, great stuff, if
they are 'feeling the fear and doing it anyway' but, if that was the
case, why would you announce to everyone that's what you think, it's
like your making yourself an excuse. Which also tells another thing. If
you're telling everyone else 'I've got this problem..' is the unsaid
dialogue, '..so you should only expect crap' ? If you're saying that to
someone else.. what are you telling yourself ? Makes me feel sorry for
them actually, because it shows how painfully insecure they all are.
Irony is, of course, that perhaps they are too young to have realised
yet, that we are all painfully insecure, it's just that some people hide
it better than others. Some people are just better bullshitters.

What's all this about the Ipad ?

Apple introduced the world to it's latest baby this week, the Ipad.
There's been much excitement, and as normal, much 'boo hoooing'.

There are, admittedly lots and lots of people that will gush with
excitement at anything new and shiny, not to mention all those Apple
followers who would make Scientologists look sceptical. There are also
those that are predisposed to an instant reaction of 'it's rubbish' or
'over priced tat' or 'underwhelmed, I was hoping for so much more'.

It's funny to see that reading some of the comments online, about what
sort of device people would have liked to see, most of them haven't
taken any time to look at the information Apple have launched, or that
they seem to think that our technological capabilities are something on
a par with those of Star Trek The Next Generation.

Having seen the details on Apple's website, I've come to the conclusion
that it will be a 'game changing' device, and will end up being used in
so many more ways than we are able to imagine now, it is SO MUCH MORE
than a 'large Iphone' (without a phone connection). From what I've seen,
I'd like one, but I'd also like to be able to buy a house, but I can't,
because I don't have enough money.

So funny that all the negative comments are roughly similar to the ones
that are made every time Apple makes a new product announcement. 'Its
not a good as I thought it would be, it doesn't have x,y,z' or 'what do
I possibly need a device like that for ? It'll never work'.

Millions of Iphone & Ipod owners prove that wrong. The public, can be,
by and large stupid and gullible, but not so much so about parting with
their hard earned cash. (They're not bankers, so they have to earn their
money before they spend it).

some sleep, some progress, some lasagne.

So, halfway through he week, and what's been achieved ? Not doing too
bad, actually more than half way through first episode for TAOSB. Got
email last night, reminding that the deadline is looming for The 9th
Man.

Happy times. As is ever the same when on holiday, my sleep pattern is
shot to hell. I've been getting up around 11:30 every day so far. I'll
have to sort that out before my return to the workplace, as I don't
think they'll be too understanding if I don't turn up for work until
after lunch !

Chris came down last night, and with the effortless meal of some
Iceland's Lasagne, we sorted out the story of our joint effort for The
9th Man. With some tweaking, that'll be ready and done in the next two
weeks. This means the pressure is on to complete the work on TAOSB.

Helen and I have now a couple of ideas burning away to bring to stage,
meaning a possible return to stage for us is on the cards either for
late 2010 or early 2011. Watch this space ! You saw it here first !

All the work's in post (production)

Another really good night of filming for us tonight. Great that Ian
turned up, he hadn't been along since November, and that is SOOOOO last
year 'n all.

Helen & I came up with an idea in the kitchen, as these things do, to
make a kids tv show spoof. We did such a 'good' job of it, that we are
thinking of using the characters in other sketches. Considering that it
took us all of about 5 minutes to shoot, with only one out-take, and
that being because I got tongue-tied, I am still waiting to complete the
upload of said video to youtube. Numerous false starts from a technology
front, never, ever, should I try to take 'short cuts' when converting
video files again. I'm sure there must be a less complicated way of
doing things.

Still, once I'd actually recovered the footage itself from the camera,
it was an easy enough job to snip a bit off the start, and a bit off the
end, and TADA !!! one video. Helen's mastery of the camera puts us all
to shame. I never did learn how to deal with shame effectively, not
being a Catholic.

I have sort of managed what I said that I was going to do this week, so
far, in that I had got up and got straight on with the business of
'knocking out' - although that's never an approach I have to writing,
(ok, except for when it was homework assignments when I was at school,
but that was ages ago, and everyone understands why) the script that I
am working for The Adventures Of Stephen Brown, and then after that,
there's the one to do for 'The 9th Man'.

The latter is a joint effort between myself and Chris, which is
good, as we worked so well together on 'War Of The Words', and that was
at least very well received when being shot by the cast..(we have yet to
have that shown to the rest of Beacon). Can't wait till that happens, in
fact must check when that's due to happen, as I haven't made it to the
premières of anything else that I've been involved in at all in 2009.
Perhaps this was because of the embarrassing reaction to 'The Legend'
that I have been squarely put off. I'm sure that the other things that
I've either acted in, or written have... well, actually been edited,
rather than shredded by the Director. I guess these things are a risk in
amateur film making. Just felt that it was less common in amateur
theatre, that may have been because it was so much easier for the
audience, actors and writer to lynch the director after a shit show than
it is for a filmed piece, you may not even see them (or indeed the
finish episode) for months afterwards.

Youtube's finest are 'processing' our latest video as we speak (or more
precisely as I type). Sadly, there is nothing in there that should fall
foul of anyone's description of censorship, not even in China, would
this video not get shown, unless they have something against showing how
stupid we can be, which I was kind of gathering they wouldn't have a
problem with 'awww look, stupid English guy.. think's he's funny....'.

The end is nigh

(well, of January at least)

Now a week of holiday starts. Without the distraction of work, I can do
what I want, or need to do to feel better about myself.

Now that sounds a bit strange doesn't it ? I've at least had a decent
weekend, cleaned the flat, had a nice time with my daughter when she
stayed over.

I'm determined to make more of this week off than I normally do. Time is
a precious commodity. We had a very good night filming on Wednesday. Rob
had come up with an idea for a piece, and we set about filming it.
Despite the sub zero temperatures, we did some filming outside. We got a
couple of funny looks at the train station, but we're used to that. What
was weird was that there was a guy there with a camera, taking pictures.
I wasn't even sure if he was official. I know the paranoia that exists
in the conciousness of the population these days. I'm surprised that the
police never turned up and carted us away.

It was, however really good to see Rob again, he's not been able to make
that many sessions lately, not that many at all. The piece that he'd
created was a reflection of the treatment that he received at the hands
of one of his teachers while he was coming to terms with his Mother's
death. I think that's about the second thing that we've filmed that
turned out to have some sort of therapeutic value to it. It's an
interesting combination of genres that we end up dealing with. On the
one hand, we have the slapstick quick-shot comedy then on the other
these dark, deep, almost morbid pieces. I guess it provides an
interesting contrast. Not many production companies seem to do the same,
which is kind of strange when you come to think that actually life
lurches from side splitting hilarity to body shaking, tear flowing
disaster.

Disaster, talking of that. What is it about this time of year that seems
to make it prone to disasters ? The Boxing Day Tsunami, and then the
massive, devastating earthquake in Haiti. With the death toll somewhere
in the hundreds of thousands...how fragile our existence is. Now the
might and logistics of the American armed forces are deployed to help in
the relief effort. Is it perhaps a shame that without the 'distraction'
of (unwinnable) wars the resources of so many nations could be turned to
relief efforts, to easing suffering rather than creating it.

Is this year looking any different to all the others ? A bit. There's
some resolution that as we get older, the chances to make a difference
get harder and harder to come by. That desperation that fades into
apathy and resignation.

So many things are the same. They're not going to change all by
themselves.

Let it snow let it snow let it snow

Oh.. the weather outside is frightful, and the fire is so delightful..... if you've no place to go...

But what happens if you do ? What happens if you're snowed in (or out) and have to get somewhere, work, home, to school, the doctors, the supermarket. What can you do ?

Well, simply put, it's stark choice between, struggle on and make your way, or make do with whatever you've got and stay where you are.

Still mostly disconcerting, with all the ice and snow, to see idiots still driving their cars whilst talking on their mobile phones. An example of applied idiocy at the best of times, utterly stupid in current driving conditions.

Like so many people I struggled into work this week, Thursday was a bit of a nightmare, but as it happens it was a fire on a train somewhere down the line that made it such a chore to get to work, not the snow. But with some waiting, some more waiting, and some alteration to the journey, I did arrive at work, 50 minutes late, and that after leaving an hour earlier. Still, my effort was luckily appreciated by my boss, who flatly turned down my offer to make up the time.

It's just a bit of frozen water, after all. Well, okay a lot of frozen water.

I have to admit, that I rather like the challenge of overcoming the problems caused by the weather. There's something of the Dunkirk spirit about the whole thing. By god we can handle more than this.

It's been interesting also seeing the mood and content of people's comments on facebook change as the week has gone on, and they've started to lose patience with not being able to do what they normally do, even though we normally moan about having to do that as well. It's only really like a holiday if you have the chance to get on a plane and fuck off somewhere warmer. On Tuesday night it was all about 'wow ! snow !' or 'ha ha ! it'll be fun getting to work tomorrow'. By Thursday night, the mood was changing to something more along the lines of 'I've had enough now, and can't afford another day off work'.

Councils up and down the country are being critisized for not having enough grit or salt to cover more than the major roads. The Conservative party have been causing mischief claiming that the country is on the verge of running out of gas. Supermarkets are having their shelves cleared of the few things they are able to deliver on the treacherous roads. Why the need to go so mad ? You know the panic buying is getting bad when people start stocking up on tinned vegetables.

I'm getting to the point that it may be worth turning off the freezer and leaving the contents outside the back door.

Still, one of the joys that my freezer contains is a lovely bottle of Russian Vodka...well, if we have the Russian weather... it would be rude not to observe cultural customs too.

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