Thursday, 30 May 2013

The Way Of The Dinosaurs ?

Another day, another dollar (or pound). Today feels a bit more messy, disorganised, in some ways, but in others it is actually quite fullfilling. There's very few people of my team in today, and the atmosphere is light and jovial. 

I still find it funny how much hard work, or how complicated some things are, when they could be so much simpler. After all, everyone wants to do a good job, and go home knowing that they've made a difference. Some people say that they don't, they hide their care for whatever reason, but even those apparently most disinterested or unengaged are actually just looking for someone to say 'thanks for that, you did a really good job there'. 

I find that everything to do with work, and understanding people gets a lot simpler and takes a lot less 'fight' when you start from that standpoint. 

Why, after all would someone chose to get out of bed every day, make their way to work and sit there doing a shit job, or pissing people off all the time ?

Most organisations evolve, grow, to be creatively inefficient and overly complicated as more and more people invest in creating additional importance and relevance for their little bit of the empire. All these people with differing views and differing prioties end up standing in the way of any meaningful change. 

This may be why some of the most successful companies of recent times have been the ones that are entirely new. They don't have any baggage to carry of processes that they have grown into or out of. Everything is started from scratch, and designed with the 21s century work place and business environment in mind. 

I guess that newer, nimlber companies are always better placed to react first to new trends or methods. The question is, at which point do they move from being a small, effecive, reactive, innovative entity to being a near monolithic leviathon that is incapable of moving or responding without a huge amount of effort to get all those people invested in the status quo to instead invest their time and energy in the brave new world. 

The companies that really suck at responding to changing market conditions suffer for it, and the greatest way a company would suffer ends up being one where if fails. Then all those people adamant in keeping things the same, and not embracing change suddenly find themselves having to change - in order to get a new job. I wonder if, when that happens, they every accept their part in the failure. 

Evolution is all about change after all. Things that don't evolve, don't change, don't repsond to changes in their environment, die. 

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Get off your arse and cook !

So  far this week I have achieved rather little, creatively. I have been back at work for two days now and although I have gotten on well with making sure that I leave on time, today I did not allow myself a lunch break and I have again come home and vegetated infront of the television. 

I may be being a little hard on myself here, I did get off my arse long enough to clean the cats' litter tray out and wash up three days worth of cuttlery and crockery and run the vacuum cleaner round the flat. 

Also, despite not really feeling that hungry when I came home, I did make some dinner. I mean make dinner, not something processed, or something more of a cheat (processed chuck in the over stuff). I have a large amount of mushrooms knocking around in the fridge and I didn't want them to go to waste, so they really led my inspiration. With some red onions, peas and the addition of some rolled up back strips this made for a rather simple but very quick and very satisfying meal. 

The salad and cherry tomatoes have made lots of outings the last few days too. I did make a concious decision when I did my last round of internet shopping to buy some 'proper food'. You are what you eat after all, and even if summer is hiding from us, I can still take some culinar inspiration from it. 

It's a bit odd, but I had a small perfunctionary chat with Andy online last night, the usual sort of thing, congratulating him on recently becoming a father, asking if either of us have spoken to or seen anything of the people we last did a theatre production with. We agreed that we needed to find some time to have another get together. 

Tonight, my long term friend Helen is obvously feeling pangs of nostalgia as she's going through lots and lots of photos that I've put on facebook from either the last theatre production that we did, or from some of the videos that we shot. 

With facebook working the way that it does, this has prompted a couple of the others to comment or to 'like' some of the photos also. I wouldn't put money on us getting to the end of the week before someone else starts suggesting we do some more filming - which would be a good thing. Did I not start this blog moaning about how I haven't taken the time to do anything creative today ? (this effort excluded). 

I just hope that certain people don't start going on about wanting to do another theatre production.

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Well co-ordinated rain

Back to work today, after the week off, and with it being after a bank holiday weekend everyone else was as reluctant as I was to come back into work today. 

Odd really, when I've been working several hours over the last week in the emergency call centre. Somehow that feels different, because it's not my regular work location or role. They say that a change is as good as a rest, and how I feel about that certainly would prove that to be the case.

Although initially skeptical about what sort of things I would come into, what changes, what responses from my manager, I've been able to get in and get on with the things needing doing, feeling that I'm achieving things on day one. 

To celebrate the mood, the weather has taken a turn for things Autumnal, not bad considering we should be fast approaching Summer. Hey ho. Global warming and all that. 

One of the people in my team is leaving us. He's got a job working in a different bit of the same company. Lucky sod. What was really nice was that this is something he's been trying to do for quite a  while, and he'd literally missed out by a hair's breadth at an interview for a job a couple of weeks ago. Having made such a good impression, another role had come up, and this has been offered to him. I'm really pleased for him, I know how much this means to him. I will honestly be sad to see him go. He's a real character. 

Some people you work with, you build an acquaintance level relationship with, you both know that you work together and it's best to just find a way to get along. Some people though, you're really lucky to be able to call not just a colleague but also a friend. He is one of those people, and a nicer, more genuine, caring and giving person you couldn't hope to meet. 

Ok. I can stop gushing now. 

Monday, 27 May 2013

Summer nights.... if it ain't on facebook, it didn't happen.

Although I've been on holiday this week, I have tonight completed a 6 hour shift in the out of hours call centre. It wasn't too busy, and although some times you're frustrated that your hands are tied in regards to what engineers you have available on the Sunday evening of a Bank Holiday, by and large, the vast majority of people are receptive and very understanding. 

Some people are slightly harder to help for one reason or another but that's just working with the public, I'm sure that's the same in any area. That's just the way people are. 

A 6 hour shift seems to pass so effortlessly, and so quickly. No pausing for lunch breaks, although I did have three cups of tea, and the rolls that I'd brought along with me. 

I had Chloe stay overnight Saturday, she didn't actually spend the entire time playing minecraft - which was something new. We sat and watched Star Trek (the 2009 JJ Abrams version). Despite starting it moaning and winding me up by saying that there's no difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, she actually really enjoyed the film. Even posted on facebook that she liked it. 

If it's not on facebook it didn't happen. 

It's been a really pleasant day today, weather wise. I haven't done any more to remove the remains of the bushes on the path to my flat - I don't want to hurt my back any more than I have done already. The walk back home from my shift of work was very pleasant, I do love the feeling of the fresh air, the quiet of the streets (I didn't see another human being) and the beauty of the stars in the sky. 

It is nice to get out and about a bit, even if it's only to walk to and from work. Walking is good. 

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Stronger for our differences, not weaker.

In last night's post I ended by saying that I wanted to comment about the serious events that had occurred over the last few days. 

On Thursday Army drummer Lee Rigby was brutally murdered in the street in Woolwich by two men. It appears that they first hit him with their car, and then hacked up with a machete. This on a street next to a school in the afternoon. 

After the attack the two murderers stayed at the scene whilst the police arrived, encouraging witnesses to take pictures and to video them. 

When the police arrived, the two men charged them, and were shot in the legs. They have been taken to hospital. 

There have since been two other arrests linked to the murderer. 

Can any of us imagine how can Lee Rigby's family feel right now ? To have the barbaric murder of their loved one plastered so thoroughly across the media. Potentially to have seen the images of him being attacked before any identification had been made. 

The media frenzy included TV channels broadcasting one of the murders, issuing warnings to people at the scene, and 'justifying' his actions, standing there saying all these inflammatory things, with his hands obviously bloodied from the attack. 

Personally, I don't understand why it was necessary to give the mouthpiece of national media to such people. That's not censorship, that's sensitivity. To show images of Lee Rigby, murdered at the scene. Do people need to see such things ? I can't believe that they do. 

As perhaps anyone could have anticipated, the social media sites went into overdrive. A sudden flood of national pride, support for the armed forces became very quickly mixed in with practically racist paranoia. The quickly reacting, slow on thinking seemed to have access to keyboards. 

How quickly people leapt to conclusions that the country is under attack, or that laws should be changed to deal with people like the murderers. 

I was struck by the observation that terrorism works not by the size of the attack or action, but by spreading the fear that such an action could happen again, and that if could effect more people. Creating terror, doesn't mean killing or hurting lots and lots of people. 

By reacting in the way some people and organisations have, they are actually helping the terrorists' aims. Spreading more fear and hate. 

Our society is not perfect, there are many injustices that occur. People disagree, but this is normal in a democracy. What we have may not be the best thing, but it is the best option of all those available. People that react by baying for blood, and that the police or security services are given more powers to intercept or to detain are also helping the terrorists, by deconstructing the society, the democracy and the liberties and freedoms that make it what it is. 

Surely the fact that people from other cultures or parts of the world are afraid enough of the freedoms in our society that they want to attack it tells you more about their insecurities and how much in envy of our way of life they are. For them to act this way, they themselves must be frightened. Fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger.... and so the streets are covered with blood of an innocent. 

Another observation to the reaction of these terrible events was that an elderly muslim gentleman was also hacked to death a couple of weeks ago by a white man. This received no coverage at all. I do not understand how one person's life, no matter who or where they are is worth less, or worthy of less recognition than another. 

I've commented upon what I perceive as the negative elements in the reactions to the heinous murder of Lee Rigby. I should also remark that I have been warmed by the rational and balanced response by most of my friends, and I am sure most other people too. Theirs was a response of support, unification, defiance and resilience. That such actions will not divide us. We are British, and we remain standing shoulder to shoulder. We will carry on, we will not let the actions of those that seek to destroy us to succeed. 

Our differences do not make us weaker, they make us stronger. Regardless of our creed, colour, religion, gender, sexual orientation, political disposition (please forgive me if I have left any out) we are stronger together than anything else.  

Here I go, improbable again

Somehow I seem to never want to go to sleep when it's time that I should. Ever since childhood I've fought the instruction from my parents about going to sleep when told. Not like it's a switch you can flick I'm sure, but I used to spend many hours, hidden under the covers reading a book by torchlight. 

Ah those years of being lost in Arthur C Clarke, or James Blish, or as I grew older Ben Bova or Greg Bear. Yes, heavy science fiction really. At least that part of my childhood was normally boyish. Apparently it seems these days that it's harder and harder to get boys to read. Looking at the youngsters around me, it's not as if that's because they're spending so much of their lives outside of the home in the pursuit of activities requiring physical exercise. More likely that they're spending it slouched on a sofa or a chair playing on their Playstations or Nintendos. 

Yeah, because I'm a shining example of how to lead an active life. What a hypocrite. When I was younger  was never into sports, I occasionally played tennis with my friend Sean (when I say played, I mean he would repeatedly beat me), I would do more than my fair share of cycling. Cycling's only a habit I've gotten out of with the theft of my most recent bike. With me getting lifts into work, and no longer cycling to pick up Chloe (she refuses to be seen cycling on her bike with me) I just wouldn't really get the use of one. 

It's a shame, and if we ever have some sunny days I do question if I should just go and buy one, even if its a second hand one. I've never been a fan of buying expensive bikes, they just seem to be a waste of money and more of a target to thieves, and it's not like they need any more of an incentive. I can't remember ever owning a bicycle for more than two years. 

I woke late today, having gone into the emergency call centre last night to cover a shift for a friend that was too ill to make it. That was only two and a half hours out of my evening, and gave me the opportunity to sign up for some more on bank holiday monday. None the less, it put my sleep pattern rather out of whack, and I didn't get off to sleep till about 4am.  This meant I didn't surface from bed this morning until something around 9:30, which I didn't think was that bad actually. 

Having felt good about yesterday's activity (which I'll come to in a minute) I thought I'd take advantage of the spare time and go and see Star Trek Into Darkness at the cinema. I looked up the times online, and discovered that the 10am showing, which there was no chance of me catching was the only one until 4pm - which again seemed like a reasonable amount of time to potter around doing other things until I went to see it. 

No sooner had I decided upon my course of action, and even tweeted to such effect, than I jarred my back stepping down off my med (I have to walk over my bed to get to my wardrobe when the clothes rail I use to hang drying clothes is in front of the window). This left me reeling in somewhat a light flavour of agony. Still feels rather stiff and painful now. There was no way I was going to be able to sit down in a chair for 2+ hours in a cinema, or if I did, there was no way I was going to be able to get back up out of it again. I'm sure this would look funny as hell to anyone else in the cinema, me walking around like a 70 year old man that had shit himself. It wasn't something I particularly fancied, and the thought of spending all that money on a cinema ticket and sitting there, in pain, not enjoying the film, gave me another painful twinge. This time in my wallet. 

So I decided to put that off to another day, when my back is up to it. I do still really want to go see the film, I can't believe actually that it's been out two weeks already and I haven't seen it. I hate crowds, and hate sitting in a packed cinema even more. The feeling of being penned in with all those (other) humans makes me feel threatened and edgy. (I can tell you are dialling the mental health professionals). 

I have though, made good use of the extra time at home, and completed the application to change doctors' surgeries - I have lived in this part of the city now for over five years, and had not gotten round to moving to a Doctor that's closer to where I live. Which is a real pain in the arse whenever I need to see them and have to trek all the way to where I used to live, in the centre of town to get medical advice. 

I also called up to see if there's anything that can be done with my mortgage, now that my initial fixed rate period has ended. As much as I was excited by the prospect of this, their (Halifax) call centre system told me there was a long queue and invited me to arrange for someone to call me back. I think when this happens the call centre's message should be more honest .. 'look mate you're never going to get through to us, give up !' As it is, the said arranged call back happened just as I was eating my dinner so I ignored it, meaning I will have to call them again. I wonder whether this time I actually get to speak to a person. Maybe I haven't made it past the first level yet. 

Yesterday in another pique of productivity I cut away at the bushes that had grown up beside the pathway leading to my front door. They had become quite the menace. The poor people trying to bring my internet food shopping order up the path are really having to struggle with their tower of plastic crates full of goodies. It's gone from looking like something worthy of a David Attenborough documentary to something post apocalyptic. I don't have a before photo, but I do have an 'after' shot. 

Realising that there was absolutely no freaking way I was going to get the removed bush bits into my normal weekly refuse collection, my Dad offered to drive me up to the tip with it.  I seized this opportunity to get rid of the large box and two canvas shopping bags full of glass that I had collected over the last 18 months to 2 years. 

It's been persisting down with rain and blowing a gale pretty much since, but when it 'brightens up' I'll ask my Dad if I can borrow his spade and dig out the roots for the bushes. I quite fancy getting some shingle or pebbles (what's the difference ? - size I guess) down, and a couple of large planters or pots with some plants in, maybe even a bench. Some hanging plants would be nice too. Leaning over demolishing the bush(s) didn't help my back, which I think is why jarring it today has hurt so damn much. 

Must be careful, I'm not getting any younger. (poor old git I hear you say ?). 

I just wanted to knock out a quite blog post, on the new keyboard that I bought yesterday - that turned up very speedily this morning - but have actually gone on quite a bit. 

Back in the real world, outside the confines of my self centred life, there's been lots of horrible things happening, that I do want to comment upon, but don't want to make a half arsed job of talking about them at this time of night. They are very serious things, and I want to do them justice by talking about them with a fresh head and clear eyes. My point the other day about that poor person that died at Portchester train station, that reminded me to be thankful for what I do have and that there's always someone worse off than myself.

I think we're all guilty of moaning about the things in our lives, and I guess that's just human nature, but really, when you look at things in perspective. We haven't got a freaking clue about how much other people have to go through. Usually they are the ones suffering in silence too. When I realise that I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I make so much out of the challenges and 'dramas' in my life. 

Friday, 24 May 2013

Everyone loves a bargain

Although I wrote before about my habit of thinking that buying new technology, new equipment would be what was needed to allow me to write more, and that this is a red herring, I did buy last night on Amazon two bluetooth keyboards. 

Two ? Well, I figured that I could use one to take to work with me, with my ipad, so that I'm not wandering around with my iMac's keyboard. They're quite expensive at £50. I quick bit of surfing and I managed to find one that was under £10 on Amazon. There were even retailers selling that very same keyboard for just under £20, which is just ridiculous. None the less, I thought buying two would allow me to use one to take out and about with me, and the other I could give to Chloe to use with her Nexus. 

I have to say, although they are obviously not made of aluminium like the Apple keyboards are, they have a similar look and key layout and feel. I'm typing this blog up on one of them now. In all the ways that are important, they are the same, and in the one that's important to be different, IE the price, they are a fifth of the price. 

Everyone loves a bargain.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Day Two

Doesn't sound the same without someone saying that in a northern accent. 

Amazingly, after only going to bed about 1am, I woke at 8am this morning, admittedly some time after my alarms started going off. I have the guy coming round to carry out the annual service on my boiler, so needed to be up at that time, as it's an all day appointment. 

I did manage to go out yesterday, and thankfully, no dizziness or other sign of the virus I'd been suffering from lately.  I went into town by bus to the Three store. 

As I'd mentioned before I've been considering upgrading my phone and getting a new Blackberry Q10, as I really don't appreciate the touchscreen keyboard on my Wildfire S. It's a good little phone, but I think the only way to really have a touchscreen keyboard that works very well would be on something much, much bigger. The Q10 is rather larger (about a third larger) than the Wildfire S,  but not so much as the larger Android phones that have a touchscreen probably large enough for me to like. Basically, we're starting to converge on tablet territory. 

So, knowing that I can't upgrade online yet (as I'm a little early for the end of the contract), but I can go into a store and do it there I called the very helpful Charlie at the store in Portsmouth. He told me that the upfront cost of the handset had gone down, and so had the monthly package cost , if only by a couple of quid. Feeling this pretty much made it a no-brainer and bringing the cost of the exercise down to a level I felt comfortable with. He was able to do some of the work over the phone for me, so that I literally only had to turn up and complete the paperwork and I was done. 

So turned up I did, and it was at the point that Charlie was processing the handset and completing the contract that I just asked him to confirm that the Q10 was indeed the one with the qwerty keyboard. The slightly older Z10 is all touchscreen, I'm sure a great phone, but if the whole reason for me to do this was to get back to a phone with a keyboard, then I'd be missing the point. Also the only thing, to me, that makes a Blackberry a Blackberry is the keyboard, so one without one just doesn't make sense. A bit like buying a vegetarian burger because you fancy some chicken. It was fortunate that I asked him this, because he had indeed got the Z10 instead of the Q10. Had I signed up and taken the thing home I would have then had all sorts of problems changing it back again. 

He seemed such a nice lad that I didn't fancy kicking up a stink. I have a weakness for a cute smile. Having gotten the phone home, and installed the apps I want, which isn't many and set up the access to the email, facebook and twitter accounts I have found that I am liable to interact more, because typing responses are a hell of a lot easier with the keyboard than with anything I could do on a touchscreen. Even using 'swiftkey' it was still a pain on the Wildfire S. 

Now if only the heating engineer would turn up to check my boiler over, I can get on with the rest of my day. 

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Day One

First day of my holiday. 

I'm pleased that I've managed to get up out of my bed at 8:30, although I may have managed to get coffee and orange juice and peanut butter on toast - just not yet gone as far as having a shower. Depending on how your imagination works, that may present quite a disturbing picture for you. 

Last night, the House of Commons debated for the 2nd time the proposal to legalise marriage for same sex partners. With the Bill as it stands, church bodies will not be forced to provide marriages for same sex couples, if their religious conscience forbids it. 

I was watching the Parliament channel, as they discussed and voted upon the different suggested clauses to the bill. These are amendment suggestions made by others, that may either add clarity to or increase the effectiveness of the bill when it passes into law. They may also provide the tactical opportunity to delay or even derail the bill itself. 

An example of those being, one where registrars (the people that work at the registry offices where such marriages would take place) should be able to not personally be involved in them. There were those that felt this meant they would be officiating over ceremonies which they did not agree with for either religious or other personal grounds. 

Another pointing out that by creating this law, with the motive of creating equality, the government are actually generating a fresh inequality, in that if it became law, same sex couples would be able to either get married or to create a civil partnership. Opposite sex couples would only have the choice to be married or unmarried. How can it be right to remove one unfairness, only to replace it with another. 

It is, I think, an interesting point. There can't be any gradations of equality. Things are either equal or they are not. The government's representative countered this suggestion by saying that the idea of allowing opposite sex couples to also have a civil partnership has not been explored. There had been no work done to see if there was indeed a need for such a law, or what the implications would be for widow or widowers that would then be able to receive a pension when surviving their partner. Those that currently as plain old cohabiters are entitled to nothing unless someone has the sense to make a will. 

Is it really such an unexpected request ? Did those involved in writing the bill really not consider this one ? It seems terribly short sighted of them - although I think incompetent would be a different way of describing it.  

Those suggesting this change to the piece of legislation are also being accused of doing so with ulterior motives. Their history of all things equality isn't exactly shining, and have previously been involved with trying to stop the law that created civil partnerships in the first place ten years ago, and also in not supporting previous laws for example the harmonising of the ages of consent for gay and straight people. 

You would think that the three options being to either allow gay and straight couples to both marry and create civil partnerships, remove civil partnerships, and provide equal marriages or.. then there's the way they are suggesting. Something about politics where compromise creates inefficient and ineffective or just downright confusing law. 

Democracy may not be the best solution to the problem of how to govern a country, but it certainly is the best of all the other alternatives. 

The bill that gets passed through to the House of Lords for further consideration (and I suspect will come against more fundamental opposition) will in some way be a halfway house, in that perhaps civil partnerships were in their own way the law that could get passed rather than the law that was really needed or called for.  Politics being the art of the possible, where sometimes everyone gets a little of what they don't want in order to achieve something the do want. 

Monday, 20 May 2013

Cheeky little writing lunch-break.

Keen to take my own advice, and get out the keyboard on my lunch break... so here I am. Sitting at a table in the call centre, tapping away on my Apple keyboard. 

Despite not feeling 100%, as asked by my boss I defined myself as 'not well enough to return to work, but not ill enough to be at home'. I've felt hot and a bit wobbly today, but I have been sensible and not walked around a lot, and pretty much stayed static, although I have been getting up from time to time as if I sit still for too long my back seizes up and it's a real pain to get back up again. 

Ever taken your car for an MOT and the garage tell you, that rather than just fixing a problem with a rear break light, they actually need to sort out the steering block, fix the wheel trim, mend the suspension and work on the rust on the chassis ? No ? Well nor have I, as I don't drive so don't have a car. I feel like a car that's gone in for a rather pointless service only to discover that I'm pretty much unroadworthy. 

Still could always be much, much worse. I keep remembering the sad news about the person that died at a train station near me yesterday. There's always someone worse off than you, my Mum used to say. I'm sure she did at some point. 

It does seem however that being the caring sharing kind person that I am, I have shared this virus, (or whatever it is) around a bit, and a couple of the people I work with seem to have something very, very, similar. 

I am still quite chuffed though, quietly confident in fact that I am getting lots of things done, and preparing to make sure that the office doesn't fall completely apart whilst I'm on holiday (as I am for the rest of the week). After all, they managed to not go out of business last week when I was off sick, so as nice as it is to feel wanted, or needed, the reality is they don't shut up shop when I'm not around. 

There's only really one person that 'needs' me that much, and that's my daughter, she will hardly appreciate it saying on my gravestone that I 'answered all emails promptly, and improved team performance' when what I'm sure she would prefer would be that I was alive and well to be with her, and watch her grow up into the fantastic person I am sure she will be. I'd hate to miss it too, not that I'd notice, what with being dead and all. 

Work is after all just the thing you do to get you the money to allow you to do the things that you want to do. If you can enjoy it, if what you do to earn money is something you really like doing, well, then you're a really, really lucky person. Most of us don't. Oh, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate my job, but I wouldn't say I leap out of bed with enthusiasm every morning. I certainly can't at the moment, being so tired this morning as to need 4 alarms and three phone calls from my Mother to get my out of my pit, and the pain in my back certainly excluding any leaping. 

Sunday, 19 May 2013


Ever just find that I need to have a keyboard in front of you, and that you need to just ... let it all out ? Well I do. I'm not sure that there's a reason, but sometimes, just sometimes there doesn't need to be a reason. 

This may sound egotistical, but I guess that's what writers do. They write. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes it's not for a specific reason, or toward a specific project. But writing. Just taking things from inside the brain and putting them down to page (or in this case, Evernote). 

I am having trouble getting myself to sit down and edit/rewrite the nanowrimo story. The same old things linger in my mind, is it routine, is it habit, is it location, is it time ? Well I guess it's all of the above. I'm just being lazy. Distracted. Finding it all too easy to get drawn away to other things. With me being ill lately, I haven't even been on Second Life all weekend. 

Despite all the distractions that were present, I was able to write the bloody thing last November. 50,000 words in one month. That's some achievement and something I need to replicate in order to actually move forward with the project. After all the thing that I want to do is write. The only thing really stopping me from writing is me.

It's not like I'm working all the time, I'm just being frivolous with the time I have outside of work. 

I've looked at the whole is it technology thing before. That was the whole reason behind buying an iPad. To enable me to go write anytime any place anywhere. My actual routine has turned out to be something entirely different, and a lot less inspiring. 

If it's time, well, I can make sure that I get time at work, on lunch - and not work through it - I strangely found it therapeutic to not only break from the mundane nature of my job, but to be creative, even if that does mean being sat in front of another keyboard. 

So what to do ? Do I make a place in the flat where I can sit down and write, without any distractions from the TV, away from the sofa.. away from Facebook (which is considerably more difficult - unless of course I log out of the bloody thing). 

That's it isn't it. I need to change my routine so that I create times in my day to be creative, and to write, or whatever it is I want to do. I also need to just use the tools available, the tools don't need changing, to think or explore anything else is just a waste of time and money. After all, I have a notebook and a pen. You don't actually need a bloody computer to do any writing. In fact some of the creating I have done in the past, I have written with pen and paper first, and then typed up - this performing part of the editing process. 

So, the purpose of this venting is to give myself the space to work out some things in my head, and to give myself a kick up the creative backside. If I want to write, then I shouldn't be letting anything stop me. 

Maybe there's the psychological side of avoiding getting to a point where I can submit something to be published, or publish something via Kindle because that was I never have to deal with people saying that what I have created is rubbish. I don't have to deal with the rejection. 

They say that at the end of your life you don't regret the things you have done, the mistakes that you have made, but you do regret the things that you didn't do.