.......

Ever just find that I need to have a keyboard in front of you, and that you need to just ... let it all out ? Well I do. I'm not sure that there's a reason, but sometimes, just sometimes there doesn't need to be a reason. 

This may sound egotistical, but I guess that's what writers do. They write. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes it's not for a specific reason, or toward a specific project. But writing. Just taking things from inside the brain and putting them down to page (or in this case, Evernote). 

I am having trouble getting myself to sit down and edit/rewrite the nanowrimo story. The same old things linger in my mind, is it routine, is it habit, is it location, is it time ? Well I guess it's all of the above. I'm just being lazy. Distracted. Finding it all too easy to get drawn away to other things. With me being ill lately, I haven't even been on Second Life all weekend. 

Despite all the distractions that were present, I was able to write the bloody thing last November. 50,000 words in one month. That's some achievement and something I need to replicate in order to actually move forward with the project. After all the thing that I want to do is write. The only thing really stopping me from writing is me.

It's not like I'm working all the time, I'm just being frivolous with the time I have outside of work. 

I've looked at the whole is it technology thing before. That was the whole reason behind buying an iPad. To enable me to go write anytime any place anywhere. My actual routine has turned out to be something entirely different, and a lot less inspiring. 

If it's time, well, I can make sure that I get time at work, on lunch - and not work through it - I strangely found it therapeutic to not only break from the mundane nature of my job, but to be creative, even if that does mean being sat in front of another keyboard. 

So what to do ? Do I make a place in the flat where I can sit down and write, without any distractions from the TV, away from the sofa.. away from Facebook (which is considerably more difficult - unless of course I log out of the bloody thing). 

That's it isn't it. I need to change my routine so that I create times in my day to be creative, and to write, or whatever it is I want to do. I also need to just use the tools available, the tools don't need changing, to think or explore anything else is just a waste of time and money. After all, I have a notebook and a pen. You don't actually need a bloody computer to do any writing. In fact some of the creating I have done in the past, I have written with pen and paper first, and then typed up - this performing part of the editing process. 

So, the purpose of this venting is to give myself the space to work out some things in my head, and to give myself a kick up the creative backside. If I want to write, then I shouldn't be letting anything stop me. 

Maybe there's the psychological side of avoiding getting to a point where I can submit something to be published, or publish something via Kindle because that was I never have to deal with people saying that what I have created is rubbish. I don't have to deal with the rejection. 

They say that at the end of your life you don't regret the things you have done, the mistakes that you have made, but you do regret the things that you didn't do.