So hard to get out of, this rut of doing sod all.
I have to say that lately, despite some ups and downs, ok, more downs.. at work, things are looking up at the moment. I'm feeling after a well deserved slap across the wrist that I am in charge of the destiny, and things are happening because I am willing them into place. I'm actually looking forward to going to work every day. Shock horror. Where did that come from ?
Sometimes, perhaps it's healthy for someone to jolt you out of the slovenly lazy, cosy, snuggle blanket of familiarity and ask you to question what it is that you need to do differently to get different results. It is, after all, as I am fond of saying to people - Only an idiot that does the same thing over and over and expects a different result.
What I really want to see happen, is for things to be balanced in progress sense outside of work as well as inside. One has very much taken over lately, and I need to work harder in future to make sure that work does not become my life. Mainly because, when it does I burn out, I get annoyed, I resent it. I get angry, frustrated. Tired. Bored.
It's going to get harder, because, dear blog, I am buying a flat. A newly built flat. Well, so newly built, that the flat isn't built yet. Maybe it comes in a flat-pack ?
Finally getting back onto the property ladder, and hopefully - if they can finish it - by the end of the year. I have to say that's one outcome that I wasn't expecting to have for the end of this year, when I started it. Fingers crossed.
Went to see the show homes at the development with my daughter at the weekend. She really loved the idea, and liked the things that she saw. I know that it's hard perhaps to explain that it's not the same as seeing a show home, but she was getting excited, thinking about what colour to paint her room. Bless. She's getting too old now, to not have some sort of ownership over the room she sleeps in when she comes to stay. She's bound to want to put her stamp on it. Which is lovely.
She makes me so proud. Her end of year report was a pleasure to read, and so good to see that she has bad good progress in so many areas, but also that her level of effort is very good. No need to freak just yet when the normal arguments between friends cause the odd disruption then. I think sometimes that she's more level headed than her parents.
Her mother and I had a good long chat the other day, about how tough it is when she's being really naughty and how she's really pushing at the boundaries of what she can and can't do, challenging both our authorities. Sometimes she seems to get very very frustrated with things, and take that out on those immediately around her. This I guess is normal, but I think that she (my daughter's Mother - my ex) feels that she's on her own with that. It must be hard dealing with it, and draining. We had a nice long chat about how she shouldn't be feeling that she's on her own, that I am there to help and she should call me whenever she needs to just vent her frustrations, or talk to someone, or if she needs me to, get involved directly. We also agreed that punishments that start in either of our homes need to be continued in the other, and we should both be confident that would be the case. it's only with some consistency and communication we'll get the message across about what is and what isn't acceptable.
It makes me wonder how single mothers without any support (financial, physical or emotional) from fathers cope. You've got to respect anyone that does that and really tries to do the best for their kids. Always someone worse off than me, right ?