I am still here...

I've got so many ways of getting my opinions 'out there' that I actually don't bother using them.

So, after a gap of 3 months, here I am, September 18th, in bed, sat at my netbook whilst half watching 'He's Just Not That Into You'. Drinking a cup of hot chocolate.

Anyone in the know, may have been reading the blog, and wondering if I'd actually made it to my 39th birthday. I did, and as I am sat here typing this somewhat meandering entry, have made it way past that point.

So many things have happened, all things that you can (if you are at all bothered) catchup with from my vlog.

I don't really do this because I kid myself that other people are remotely interested in what I have to say. I do this for entirely selfish reasons. It's the only time I can get my point across without someone trying to argue with me. 

As it is now three months since I enthusiastically decided to document each day counting down to my 40th birthday (and over nine months since I gave myself the new years' resolution of blogging daily). Time to catch myself up, decide if the targets or goals that I set for myself this year are really ones that I want to achieve, and if so, make sure that they do come true.

Last year turned out to be all about buying the flat. It wasn't until June time that this became apparent. There was a part of me that felt the need to find someone to spend time with, in my new home. I make it sound so clinical.

Have I changed any of my habits ? Have I done anything different ? So why am I expecting to get a different result ? I'm always telling the guys (in my team) at work that if they want different outcomes (in their performance) then they must do something different. As I believe Einstein said 'only a fool does the same thing and expects a different result'.

Just don't do this consistency thing very well. The bit where something becomes routine. Normal. Mundane.

Where's the cleaning fairy ?

Ok. So I have no one to blame but myself, but still..... where's a happy cleaning fairy when you need one.

The flat is still a pigsty. Still the mess it was at the start of the week. I have, although managed to motivate myself to actually do some things. Some things.

Went round to Steve's last night, and attended a workshop on how to use the club's cameras. This was handy, because they have lots of buttons and switches and settings and stuff, and I would probably be quite happy to sit and play with them all, but the truth is that I probably shouldn't and Steve probably wouldn't like me to.

I did get some really good ideas about where things were on the equipment they use, and some of the theory behind those strange phrases I keep hearing either Steve or Chris saying 'I need to rebalance the white' or 'you're crossing the line there'. To me 'crossing the line' was something that my parents used to tell me when I was getting far to cheeky.

I think they may have even redefined 'being cheeky' as 'being a little shit', but I guess you'd have to ask them about that.

Anyway. Back to the plot. There's a plot ? Bloody hell, this was news to me. I thought I was just tapping some random stuff into my netbook while I wait for the toast to pop up......

Hmmm... peanut butter on toast, with salad cream. Yum.

I've noticed that in this year, I've not done anywhere near as much writing as I wanted, and also haven't really done as much filming and uploading. I'm quite good at starting blogs, but absolutely terrible at keeping them going. (as you can tell from the updates on his page).

If 2010 is going to be a different year for me, then I am deciding to change that. And I'm going to change that right here, right now. I have found it very easy to update my Facebook and Twitter presence. 140 characters of musings or comment, sent by text. Nothing could be simpler. I'm not trying to blame the technology or sites for the lack of updates.... but of all my character flaws, procrastination is the one that I can put off till tomorrow.

I don't think that it's beyond possible for me to make two updates per week. (There are only so many entries this week because I am on holiday). I have realised that there's no point in leaving that to start on January 1st. Strike while the iron is hot I say. Or at least while it's relatively tepid. Ouch. Careful not to burn my fingers.

Ok. So that's my 'writing promise'. If it's one thing I've learnt recently at work, its that I like to get stuff done. I like to see that there are things being ticked off on my todo list. I might well have a tendency to be a lazy git, but if I lounge around and do nothing, I don't feel very good about it. Don't get me wrong, its not that I want to live my life in a hectic turmoil, being a slave to a never ending list of things to do (god if I wanted to live like that, I could have stayed married). In the end, there's only one way to get things done, and that's to bloody-well do them. It's nice to kick back and relax, but just sitting in front of the computer or TV, getting slowly more and more depressed about how messy everything is, or what else needs doing.

On the subject of roaring with energy and vitality and determination.. and stuff.... I think it's time to put the kettle on....