Friday. August 30th. 23:09
Pub o'clock.
These post work drinking sessions are becoming a habit.
Need something as an antidote to the shite of the working week.
in the end, pretty much on the spur of the moment ended up going to the pub after work (finishing at 4) with two good friends from work.
One leaving the drinking session earlier. The other, well, she and I stayed on until the bitter end. (no we weren't drinking bitter).
Me ? Well, after perhaps five or six double vodkas I'm not to far from sober. In fact, pacing it out over the evening I think I've not done too bad.
While your very, very good friend pours her heart out about how much she isn't strong, and doesn't want to be hurt any more, and doesn't feel that she will be happy, or that she can do better than the shit of a boyfriend that she has at the moment. What can you do, but hold her, comfort her, tell her how amazing she is, (even though she's not able to hear it) and that she has many people around her that do care a great deal about her, and do want to make sure she's okay, and do not think that she should be with someone that treats her like that.
Yeah. How do you deal with that ?
How do you tell someone that can't see that they are the most amazing, interesting, beautiful person you have met in years, and that they don't need to put up with this shit. How do you tell them that they have your heart, if only they would stop and see it.
How about that ? How about saying that ? Of course you can't. Of course it's a small comfort to be there to hold her, to be close to her, so much more than you would normally, but no comfort that this is only because she is breaking her heart over some idiot that treats her so badly. And of course she cannot see. Cannot see that you feel this way. Probably would never even guess that you may feel this way. Always consider you the friend. The friend only. Not that you could be conditional, not that your feelings mean that you cannot be a friend.
Just that it's very, very, fucking hard.
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Friday, 30 August 2013
Saturday, 22 January 2011
Have you ever heard of the 80 / 20 principle ?
The idea being that you end up spending 80% of your time with 20% of people. In business this could signify that you spend 80% of your resource time with the customers that either make up 20% of your customer base. This means that the remaining 80%'s needs get ignored as you don't have the time left to help them.
In my work, this can mean that I spend 80% of my time with a very few members of my team, which in itself isn't something to object to. The danger though, is that all that time is severely unlikely to deliver anywhere near a decent return on all that time spent. It's also likely that the rest of the team don't get any quality time as a result.
That can lead to resentment of that person(s) by the rest of the team, who perhaps are really desperate to spend some time with their manager, and get some support.
Now if the person(s) taking that amount of time up, do actually really need that help, or if they feel particularly insecure, they'll feel considerably worse if they can feel or see the reaction of their colleagues to them. It might be very easy for that to quickly be about personal feelings, rather than tasks or actions.
It's a tricky situation, and not that easy to deal with, whilst emotions run so high.
If everything that I had to deal with in my job was easy to fix, they wouldn't have to pay me so much, and I wouldn't feel so rewarded when I get them sorted. You really don't get job satisfaction if you don't work hard, but working hard isn't the only answer. No one wants to slog on and on and on endlessly with no outcome in sight.Working hard is not enough in itself. We, you, I, need to work smart.
The idea being that you end up spending 80% of your time with 20% of people. In business this could signify that you spend 80% of your resource time with the customers that either make up 20% of your customer base. This means that the remaining 80%'s needs get ignored as you don't have the time left to help them.
In my work, this can mean that I spend 80% of my time with a very few members of my team, which in itself isn't something to object to. The danger though, is that all that time is severely unlikely to deliver anywhere near a decent return on all that time spent. It's also likely that the rest of the team don't get any quality time as a result.
That can lead to resentment of that person(s) by the rest of the team, who perhaps are really desperate to spend some time with their manager, and get some support.
Now if the person(s) taking that amount of time up, do actually really need that help, or if they feel particularly insecure, they'll feel considerably worse if they can feel or see the reaction of their colleagues to them. It might be very easy for that to quickly be about personal feelings, rather than tasks or actions.
It's a tricky situation, and not that easy to deal with, whilst emotions run so high.
If everything that I had to deal with in my job was easy to fix, they wouldn't have to pay me so much, and I wouldn't feel so rewarded when I get them sorted. You really don't get job satisfaction if you don't work hard, but working hard isn't the only answer. No one wants to slog on and on and on endlessly with no outcome in sight.Working hard is not enough in itself. We, you, I, need to work smart.
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