Hot Hot Hot

It's been super hot lately, and this has coincided with the week that I am on standby for the emergency call centre. I have been in rather a lot, and tonight (Thursday night) is the last night of my stint, but also the only day so far this week that I haven't been called in.

I had thought, or hoped that it not being the middle of winter that I wouldn't see much 'action'. I couldn't have been more wrong. I don't know how the guys out in the field were keeping up with all the problems that were going on. Trees causing problems, fires, lines coming down, over zealous gardeners digging through cables. All sorts of things. You could tell how tough it was getting in the delays that were creeping in for first response to faults - because the engineers were already out on another job.

The most stupid thing has to be someone deciding to prove that the power's out by using a ladder to climb up the power pole and test the supply themselves. Lucky the supply was dead, because otherwise they would have been. Important bit of advice people, don't climb up power supply poles, don't go near the cables if they happen to come down. Don't touch them. They have a really bad habit of killing people.

Having not spoken too much to my daughter this week, I text her tonight for a cursory chat about things. I couldn't call her from my mobile because I have to leave the line open in case I'm called in. The chat moved from sms texting to facebook chat, where I then sent her a picture of my new Chromebook. She then proceeded to lecture me about how I didn't need another device and that I 'just keep buying things'.

The problem is, she may be right. Okay, I have brought another device. But I did buy it ridiculously cheaply, and can always sell it on if I don't want it any more. Having identified a need, that I thought could be filled with my iPad and a portable keyboard, I went for the absolutely cheapest way of filling that need. Not the most complicated or expensive. But she is right, that I have an iPad, and iMac, why, oh why, oh why do I need a laptop. Well I do. I need to be able to type easily. On Wednesday, when I sat in the 'garden' working on a 'Doorstops' script for Beacon, it was on the Chromebook that I did it. I couldn't have really managed to sit out there on my camping chair with my iPad and a bluetooth keyboard. I have done in the past, and it's a thing of managing to balance everything right, setting them at the right angle on my lap so that I've got room to move or sit comfortably and type. Also the heat doesn't really do nice things to my iPad. Last time it actually shut itself down and refused to work until it had cooled down somewhat. The device itself, being made of metal was white hot. Picking it up in my hand, I was genuinely concerned I was going to get branded by the Apple Logo, burning into my palm.

I know that I can come up with loads of different reasons to justify my expenditure. To justify it to myself maybe.

It is finally dawning on me that our holiday is not too far away, and I should really get my arse moving and actually book one. There are emails I get frequently from some of the holiday places, offering me short notice deals, but those are still too close - and not yet for the week that we want.

I am confident that we will be able to get something. Part of me would like to have been able to go to Jersey, but it turned out to be so fucking expensive that I would have nearly had to sell the flat in order for us to go.
I may have just exaggerated slightly. Slightly. There's something special about Devon. Heading westwards has a spiritual draw to it. Heading Eastwards, like we did a few years ago when we went to Hastings doesn't have the same charm. I don't know how to put that into words, or explain it, but that's how I feel.

I would also like to go to Scotland, or Ireland, but there's also the part of me that thinks we should not be heading further North. Further South = warmer. Further North = colder, in my mind. Would I feel cheated spending my summer holiday deliberately going somewhere colder ? So that when I come home, it's warmer ? Now that doesn't make sense.

If it was somewhere more special, maybe Iceland, or Canada, or cruise up the Norwegian fjords, then maybe, just maybe. But to damp Edinburgh ? Nah. Does not compute.

I'm probably talking a load of shite and am about to get lots of comments from very angry people in the Scottish Tourist Board.

Who sheds a tear for the wannabe Canadian model ?

Saturday, and the sun is out. What a lovely day it is. Ah...
Oh bollocks, return to work next week, which is the day after tomorrow,
and just like the film by the same name, it gives a feeling of impending
doom and misery and doom, and hardship, and doom.. did I mention the
doom ?
I guess we all have to earn a living somehow, and most people find that
tiresome, right ? It's not that I'd want to not have to work, it's more
that, well, I just want it to not be so....boring. Something
fundamentally soul destroying about it. Love the people. Well, most of
them. Ok. Some of them.
If you don't like where you live, and you work somewhere you're not
happy so that you can afford to live somewhere you're not happy...
well.... what's the point of that then ? Life being too short and all
that.
It's nearly the end of January. Yeah 2010. The year it all happens, and
somehow, without me noticing, 8.33 % of it is already gone !
Having left the TV on, after watching some Will & Grace, I'm too lazy to
turn off or over from 'Canada's Next Top Model'. (1st of all, sorry Rob,
but who cares about who the next top model is, let alone one in Canada).
There's all these scrawny wannabes, complaining about their 'anxiety
disorders'. Is it is disorder that you get nervous in unfamiliar
situations or places ? Wow. Never knew that before. I get absolutely
terrified when I go somewhere new, meet people I don't know that well.
But bizarrely, I'd never think of describing that as some sort of
disorder. It's not a medical thing, surely, it's just a quirk of my
personality, and my confidence (or lack of) in certain situations.
I bet they spent ages with Doctors, or psychologists, getting 'help' for
their 'problem'. Can you medicate confidence ?
Also, if you know that these things are hard for you, why would you
decide that modelling is the career for you ? I mean, great stuff, if
they are 'feeling the fear and doing it anyway' but, if that was the
case, why would you announce to everyone that's what you think, it's
like your making yourself an excuse. Which also tells another thing. If
you're telling everyone else 'I've got this problem..' is the unsaid
dialogue, '..so you should only expect crap' ? If you're saying that to
someone else.. what are you telling yourself ? Makes me feel sorry for
them actually, because it shows how painfully insecure they all are.
Irony is, of course, that perhaps they are too young to have realised
yet, that we are all painfully insecure, it's just that some people hide
it better than others. Some people are just better bullshitters.