Poker face

Been so long since the last post, but what can I fill this one with that isn't pages and pages of anger and frustration ?

I know, let's fill it with love and understanding and.....

Ah bollocks to that !

This week has been hard. Looking back on last week's blog, I can see that this is becoming a regular thing, something that I am steadily accepting, and rather apathetically shrugging my shoulders and carrying on. With a tough, hard fought week at work where everything went mental (one of our competitors announced that they would be increasing their prices and it seemed that everyone in the world wanted to speak to us). On the good side, we have two new guys in our team who seem to be getting along really well, but have had great success to show some of the more established hands that you can do things if you put your mind to it. Progress with a couple of the team who have perhaps struggled to take charge of things, and seeing them realise that they can have an effect on their results if they chose to approach it in the right manner. Great to see, one in particular pretty much shining all week with a brilliant 'I am going to get this done and nothing's going to stop me' focus.

It has been non stop though, hard work. Really seeing the fruits of their hard labour. Feeling exhausted by the week, but elated with how things ended up.

It has been the usually roller coaster ride though of the highs and lows of elation and near depression. The yo-yo ride of emotion inside work has not at all coincided with the operation of the same ride outside of work. Elation at finally submitting the poster design to the printers, and getting some publicity material 'out there' has helped start off the week, but Monday's rehearsal left me feeling rather flat and with the desire to run away as fast as my legs could carry me. Wednesday, on the other hand, we focussed on going over and over a couple of the really intense scenes in the show. These are the ones with lots of things going on at the same time (our trademark chaos), and are hard to plan and direct. Even harder to execute with people still holding on to scripts for dear life.

With some gentle encouragement, they were able to drop their scripts (for the most part) and we got through three different scenes, with great progress being made in the timing and performance of all concerned. No easy feat, but was helped certainly with everyone actually dropping those pesky scripts and with all the cast actually being there, which must be about the first time that has happened.

Still only three weeks to go before the show. There is now a crowd from work going along, it will be great to have that support.

Guess what ?

Another flipping flat tyre !!! Seriously. What ?

Interesting couple of days. Work has been quite far from easy. At some point the reality that we are not doing as well as we think we are, and that action needs to be taken to correct that. Some people are not, I think being honest with themselves about how good they are. Others are overlooking how good they are, which is a damn shame.

Air conditioning not working on Saturday, which was a swelteringly hot day anyway, without having to spend 5 hours inside a baking hot call centre. Normally this wouldn't have been something that really bothered me (apart from the discomfort, and the smell - only kidding - there wasn't a smell) if it hadn't been for the fact that I was meeting up with a nice young lady after work, and hadn't really wanted the first time she met me for me to be this scruffy, sweaty dishevelled bloke getting off the bus.

We met up, as planned, after I had stopped into Tesco to get some food. (Cooked chicken and some salad). Met her at the bus stop and walked her round to mine, so that she could meet the kittens. Yup, that's right, so pathetic am I that I used my kittens as part of my chat-up routine. (yeah right, anyone that knows me, would really find the idea that I even indulged in chatting people up, let a lone that I had some sort of routine to follow hilarious. Routine. No. Spreadsheet - maybe).

She is a very nice girl, and it's amazing that even in this day and age when you get to know all sorts of things about people from the internet, from looking at facebook (oh common, you'd have a peek, wouldn't you ?), and that you get to see various images of them before meeting them for real, that they still look different and aren't entirely how you imagined them.

My imagination could never have envisioned how gorgeous she is, nor could I have realised what sort of a person she is, or the things that she's been through. Makes me think perhaps I should shut the fuck up moaning about my life. Like the saying goes, there's always someone worse off than you.

How do these sort of things work ? I've never known how to interact with people at the best of times, let a lone beautiful women, who probably think 'god what a plonker'. I think the standard advise, is 'be yourself', be 'cool'. Cool ? I've never been cool. Bow Ties are more cool than I am. Fezzes are more cool than I am. I am most definitely a mad man with a box.

The situation that I wrote about the other week, between myself and my creative partner, Helen is not going away. I received a rather long email from her last night, which I have had to stop myself from responding to. I can say how I feel, but I don't feel that I can without hurting my friend. I am also feeling frustrated that we seem to have covered the same ground, again and again, and my point of view doesn't seem to be sinking in.  I feel at the moment, sadly that the very best we can hope for is that we can get this show produced and finished with without irrevocably damaging our friendship. I don't bare grudges, it actually takes a lot to really piss me off, but I can be belligerent and judgemental. I do like to know that I am right (but this only gives me any comfort whatsoever if I actually am right).

What's a guy to do ? I'd like an easy, relaxing hassle free part to my life, please. I guess that's not going to happen any time soon, now. Is it ?

Oh yes, did I not mention. Another flat flipping tyre, now repaired, I can only hope that it stays repaired.

... and where was it you spent your Wednesday evening Simon ?

In the toilet.

With some friends.

I think I'd better explain. Quickly.

Upon hearing that we would be 4 people short for Wednesday's rehearsal we struck upon an ingenious plan. (Okay, so maybe I'm only saying it's ingenious because it was my idea). Having already noticed that we were struggling to arrange for people to be together to do the filmed pieces for the show, we decided that we would film some of them with the people that were able to attend that session.

This meant that the 'Dumping Ground' scenes. So, in rather a rush, and nothing less than an absolute hurry, we did indeed mange to film four segments.

This only leaves us with two to do from the toilets. The rest of the filmed spots will need to be shot in my flat. We didn't finish till very late, but it was well worth it. While all this was going on, Helen was busy going over a couple of scenes with some of the rest of the cast.

Both Helen and I are getting really worried about the amount of lines that people have actually learned. The play really does need people to be natural as possible, and they sure can't do that whilst holding the heavy tome that is the script.

Another thing that had been worrying us (along with all the other things to think about regarding the show) is that we don't have a poster.

Well not anymore. Lin's friend, Mo Welch, who has done a brilliant poster for us emailed it across to me today, and I then spent the afternoon messing around in iphoto to get the other information onto the picture.

Helen and I are very pleased with the result.

Plummeting towards Bank Holiday..

There's nothing we can do, the world hasn't ended, the Tiger wasn't real.... we're plummeting at warp factor 12 towards a long weekend. The last bank holiday weekend we get until August in fact. Will it shine ? Will it rain ? Either way it's going to mean three whole days off work. Whoop Whoop.

It does of course also mean that we are another week closer to show week. Arrrggghhh !!!

Helen and I had made some alterations to the script, which we communicated to the cast on Monday. I think this was a bit worrying for some of them, who aren't used to dealing with scripts as a rather fluid thing. On one hand it's a bless, but on the other it is indeed a curse. There was only person so far that did not need their script in the scene that we did. I am getting rather worried that more people haven't yet dropped their scripts. We are, after all, only four weeks away from the show week. There are still people missing sessions, no progress with dropping scripts, no sold tickets. Worried ? I don't think worried is the right word.

(slams door and runs screaming to the hills)

Grumpy old man

Am I getting less patient as I grow older ? Less understanding of others ? Less accommodating of the downright stupidity of other people ?

I wonder this, because I feel myself getting steadily more impatient and cross with Helen, my long term friend and cowriter, coproducer, codirector for The FatCat And The Grafter. I don't want to launch into a major whinge, but think that after that sentence I had better explain myself.

On Monday's rehearsal, which I have already documented as being the hardest session so far, there were some elements that made it harder to make progress. Helen had changed some of the lines in the scene, and made some other alterations, which she had not gone through with me before I started directing the scene with the cast, she also wanted to put in some suggestions about things that her character could be doing in order for her to get to be doing what she felt the character should be doing. Again these things were not explored in detail before the session, so when mentioned required that I had to then work round or ignore them in order to direct the scene the way that I had planned it. Interruptions and delays were caused by the sometimes attention grabbing silliness she employs whenever she feels embarrassed about something. The thing that I was embarrassed about was that the scene wasn't working, and it wasn't made to work any more, or look any better with interruptions of messing about from my co-director.

We had agreed a couple of weeks ago that as we were directing most of the scenes separately, that if we wanted to make any suggestions to scenes the other was doing that we do it after the session, so that the discussion would not hold up the rehearsal or make us look like we didn't know what we were doing.

I don't want this to come across in the wrong way, it's not about Helen, bless her, it's about interruptions themselves. I feel like I spend a part of my working week trying desperately not to tell people to stop being such twats. Polishing a turd doesn't even come close. I'm not angry though. As much as sometimes the odd thing will slip out, I am amazed at how tactful I can be. Sometimes it's like it's not me at all.

Things can only get better ?

After a weekend that was all too short, back to work, and back then afterward to rehearsals. Nice enough, but I think from having planned the blocking of this scene that I have realised somewhat that this scene could easily be removed from the show and no one would miss it at all.

My inner editor tells me that I should get out my filthy big red pen (metaphorically, as I don't actually own a red pen, big, filthy or otherwise) and strike if from the play. Helen wants to err on the side of caution and leave it in until we do a paced run through the second act, so we can see how it falls into place with the rest of the show.

I don't remember this shared directing lark being such a test either. Normally things go perfectly well, but tonight things kept going off track, the scene was complicated enough, but Helen did keep wanting to descend the scene into farce, and needed reigning in. I worry that some of the patience, faith and trust that the cast have in us may not be entirely limitless.

Helen pointed out today that we really need to pull our finger out with organising the show. We have not sold a single ticket yet. hopefully all this will change once we have the poster, and we can start advertising properly.

Hopefully.

Kindle joy

 

Those lovely people @ Amazon turned this..

 On my way to work yesterday I managed to collect from the post office the replacement Kindle that the very helpful and apologetic 'Alex' from Amazon had sent me. Overjoyed would be something of an understatement.

I'd gotten up early enough to allow myself time to go and get the new kindle, and to then stop off somewhere with free wifi in order to get it synced and up to date with my books.

..... into this !!

This I did at the McDonald's in Havant. Admittedly this was rather cheeky of me, standing suspiciously by a pillar (not wishing to take a seat as I thought that would have been one infringement of their hospitality too far). Not having used their free wifi before, I had to take some time to setup an account with 'the cloud'. Easy peasy. Whilst I was doing this, the power kept flicking off in McDonald's. OK, so dodgy looking man, with strange looking hat, standing next to pillar, with strange device... when he walks in, the power starts going off. Hmm. That's.... strange. One of the workers did, in the end, come over and ask me if what I was doing would have any effect on the power situation. I thought it was quite funny, but I guess had I been in their situation I would have thought the same thing, and she was perfectly nice about it.

God I've missed my kindle. The real coup for me was the service given by the guy at Amazon. Such a shame that it is not the norm elsewhere. I've just got to package up and send back the broken one.

Last night I went with Helen, Bill, and Lin (and her friend Mo) to go see Phoenix Players' show, It Runs In The Family (by Ray Cooney). It's a very fast paced, farcical comedy which was very tightly written, acted and directed. It's a great script and we all really loved the show. There were some brilliant performances from some of the cast with particularly shining efforts from Ben McCready, John Lewin and Jeremy Fletcher.

After the show we decamped to the utterly deserted pub over the  road. Sadly for such a lovely pub, it looked like we were the source of the entire evening's takings. In the conversations, what we'd figured out was that Lin's friend, Mo is an artist, and she has wonderfully offered her services to create our show's poster. We tried (as best we could) to explain the point of the show - having to remind ourselves first - and what the characters are like - so that she could get some ideas of what sort of things to incorporate into the poster design, and figure out what sort of thing it was that we were looking for.

There is this excitement building about the show, coupled with the 'calm before the storm' that is the final few weeks of production. Need to get our thumbs out of our proverbial arses to make sure that people know about the show. If we don't we are going to go to all this trouble and no one will come see it.

workaholic ?

Today was meant to be my day off work.

Like the conscientious person that I am, I figured that I could go in, and spend a couple of hours completing some end of work admin that needed doing. Every month this situation comes up, every month I chastise myself for not getting things done sooner.

I do this not because it is asked or even expected of me (in fact my boss told me I didn't have to do that and that I shouldn't have come in) but because I would rather know that it's all done and out of the way, than have to struggle over the next few days to complete the tasks needed and all the stress and hassle that involves.

Job done. I can rest easy. (well, I would if I wasn't up at such a stupid hour writing a blog entry).

This evening's drama session went exceedingly well too. Although the clock is ticking and time is certainly not our friend, it did become apparent tonight that we are way past he mid point of blocking out the scenes, and are indeed making lots of progress. This can only be helped in a week or two when Andy becomes available to play Melton. 

I would like to blog on a bit more, but I am rather tired, and have work early in the morning, so if you don't mind, I am going to close off this entry and get some well earned rest. Night to you all.

To Vlog, or not, to Vlog. That is the question.

I've been playing around today with the camera and Final Cut Express to see how easy it would be to put the same person in one scene three times. It turns out that it's actually very easy, when you've spent half the day figuring out how the hell to do it.

After messing about with the technology vs my lack of skill and finally getting to a workable solution. Which I have uploaded onto the M27's facebook page for all the world to see.

I've also decided to have a little play with some of the footage that I've taken on my Blackberry of the cats, and edited that quickly in iMovie. Example of this  :-

Flip camcorder

I have been a little inspired lately by the vlogging style of Nerdzrl who seems to pretty much just take her  flip camcorder with her wherever she goes, and record her conversation to camera, and with real people too. I don't know if the good folks of Cosham would react in the passive way that the public in Canada seem to be happy with being filmed, which is funny really given our propensity to shove a CCTV camera in every conceivable location. (by conceivable location, I don't actually mean the ones people conceive in, although you never know....).

When I was a teenager, like most teenagers, I was pretty convinced that I had a unique and special way of looking at the world, and no one else really understood. It wasn't just me they didn't get, THEY also didn't understand how the world REALLY was. THEY just couldn't see it.

Well now that I am (ahem) older. My opinion is pretty much the same. Except maybe just a little (a little I said) arrogant. I do think I look at the world in a slightly different way to most other people. Does that make me some sort of undiscovered genius ? Hell no. It probably means that I am more socially backward than normal people and have far too much thinking time on my hands.

Anyway, I have digressed. When I was a teenager, I kept a diary. That's not that uncommon. A lot of teenagers do. Inspired as I was by 'The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole' (By Sue Townsend) in all it's generations, I picked up whatever writing implement was to hand at the time and committed to paper the workings of my demented, self absorbed teenage mind. There are volumes of my diary, pages upon pages of it. I told my impressionable, naive, and intellectually reckless young self that 'one day you can publish this, and it will be of comfort to anyone that reads it... ' not so sure about that one now or that 'your children can read it when they are teenagers and will be happy to know that the sort of things they are going through are the same things that their dear old dad was going through when he was their age'. hmmm. If there is one thing that is certain in the universe it is that teenagers most definitely do NOT want to be reminded of any similarities with their parents. As my daughter rapidly approaches her teenage years, one thing comes to mind. There's no way she would ever be interested in reading it.

For one thing, it's pages and pages of self opinionated drivel (see nothing changes). Deluded is the word that comes to mind.

So in the face of my daughter reading my diary, and suddenly having a tearful revelation that I too, suffered as I was a teenager, that I too did awkward uncool things. (still am doing - how's the hat going ?) That I too was a jumbling mess around the opposite sex. A mess around the same sex for that matter.

My point, my point ? Oh yes, there WAS a point. Is the written word more suited to this kind of outpouring or is the video blog (vlog) better ?

The show must go on..

Sunshine has suddenly become an expected part of the weather in England. We've had glorious weather pretty much for about 4 days now, and before everyone starts moaning about it being 'too hot' or how stupid they were and that they got sunburned, I figured that I should just take a moment to enjoy it.

Done.

I now have a couple of days off work, due to the Easter holiday, and then am in for 5 hours on Saturday and not back in the office until Tuesday. This is all fantastic stuff, and really appreciated, coming as it does right toward the end of Script Frenzy. Realising that I haven't broken into double digits really does make it tough for me to achieve the 100 pages before the end of the month, but I guess that I won't get them sitting around on my arse writing my blog. I'll get them sitting around on my arse with a copy of Celtx open, writing some script.

I wasn't that well on Monday, and pretty much spent the day in bed. It'd been about 6 months since I last had a day off work through sickness, but I was absolutely wasted. Man flu ? Well, call it what you like, but I got up to get ready for work that day, and after calling in sick, went back to bed. I didn't wake up until about 7 hours later. Must have really needed that. Still got annoying cough and pains in my chest, from the coughing, but I am very much near mended. Went back to work Tuesday, but hate, hate, hate being off work. It also meant I certainly wasn't up to attending drama on Monday night.

This was the second session that I have had to miss. Poor Helen being left to carry the can. On both occasions the turnout from the cast has been lacklustre also. We can't afford to keep wasting these valuable rehearsals. Apart from the cost (£8 per hour), there is the cost in time. There are only so many weeks before the show is due to open. Helen was very good about the whole thing, and understanding. Wednesday's session was very good. We did about half of one of the more complicated scenes, and although I hadn't had a chance to go through it with Helen in advance, I planned it out on my own. The characters are really coming alive, with Jay Jay (Steve Penfold) and Troggie (Chris O'Connor) working very well. These scene was working out to show the desired amount of chaos and comedy, with Helen and I both finding it funny to watch, even at this early stage. Some of the cast, well most of them actually, haven't worked with us before and we've taken a bit of time to explain to them how our comedy works, why we have so many things happening at once and how at times, it appears to break most of the 'rules' of theatre, and get away with it.

We've gotten off to a rocky start, but if this is any indication of how the rest of the show will turn out, then we are on to a winner for sure.

Now on to some script frenzy !! If I'm good, and focused and get lots of work done, I may just treat myself with an afternoon out to Steve's BBQ tomorrow...

I've been busy...

I've been so busy, that I haven't taken the time to make a blog entry. It's not through laziness. Well, okay, looking back, perhaps there is an element of the latter to it, but I really have been rather busy. Not only have I had the loving company of my daughter for the last four days, during her Easter holidays, but I have also been rather absorbed by work for the show. There has also been the small matter of taking care of my two new arrivals.

Midnight & Twilight, our kittens joined our family last weekend. Ever since they have been a bundle of joy to watch, and look after. They've settled in really well, and have gotten used to me and the flat without any problems whatsoever. They are now starting to gain confidence and realise that they can jump up onto things like the sofa, or my bed. Time will only tell just how well they get on with the sofa.

...one of Chloe's pics with her iPod Touch

Chloe and I have had a great week, getting to know the kittens, but also going out and doing things together. We went to Marwell Zoo on Tuesday, with my sister and her two boys. Fantastic day out that we wouldn't have had the chance to do if it wasn't for my sister being able to drive.  We had a brilliant day there, that for me was a little overshadowed by the determined dying of my Blackberry, leaving me without the ability to take loads of pictures like I normally would. I was though, very impressed with some of the shots that Chloe was able to get with her iPod touch.

Drama off the stage has overtaken drama on it at St Peter's. The PCC have taken what seems like the rather political step of sacking anyone on the PCC that did not agree with their view that they sell the Theatre and its land, and the church. This land-grab is supposed to be to release the capitol needed to build a new church somewhere else.

Now I'd probably upset a load of people by commenting that surely if god is omnipotent and omnipresent it doesn't matter a damn where you are when you 'give thanks', so I won't say it. I am rather angered by such a move by the PCC. I don't confess to understand the inner workings of the political machine here, but it seems to me to be callous, ungrateful and downright despicable that they get rid of all these people that have worked tirelessly for the church and the theatre all these years.

Shame on them. Shame on them.

Phoenix Players have been resident there for decades, and have literally raised tens of thousands to keep that building going. To see the potential of them being so summarily chucked out onto the street is galling. It also means that we should at least consider the reality that we may need to find somewhere else to put on the show, as a backup, just in case things get worse.

If you see a Blackberry flying past you.... an angry me may be nearby....

Blackberry battery death. My world has fallen apart two days running now. When I recount the event, it seems so insignificant and spoilt of me that I am almost ashamed. Though, I guess not so ashamed that I prevented myself from sharing it on the interweb.

My beloved Blackberry's battery decided to die yesterday half way through work, it had not been an extraordinary day in anyway, I had not taken or made lots of calls from it. I guessed that perhaps I had forgot to turn the charger on at the wall when I plugged it in on Sunday night, or that somehow I (or someone else) had left the wifi or bluetooth switched on. None of these things turned out to be the case.

As luck would have it, I had taken my netbook to work with me, so that I could make some progress with Laptop, this meant that I was able to hide myself away at the back of the bus on the way home, and get some charge into my phone from my netbook. This was just as infuriating, as not having the phone at all, as I began to be deluged with messages, voicemails and emails from people wondering why I wasn't responding to them. Why is it that people don't understand the definition of 'urgent call' when you advise them that you have next to no power yet ?

The evening was only completed by me having left work late, rushing to get home (as much as you can rush when you are dependant on whatever time the bus driver thinks is acceptable to get you anywhere), trying desperately to sort out the phone issues and ending up leaving the water running in the kitchen sink causing a small flood. What is it they say about more haste, less speed. Well it certainly was true last night. The more I rushed, the more annoyed I was getting. I realised that not only was I completely unprepared to go anywhere, but that with further public transport connections required I wasn't going to get there until about 8:30.

This on top of a succession of those text messages being from people telling me that they wouldn't be able to make it to drama. I could have screamed. I think I should have. Maybe it would have helped. In the end, poor Helen ended up trying to make a session of interest for the 5 people that did turn up, without me. I felt awful, and just wanted to go to bed so that the day would end sooner.

Today's battery death was entirely unexpected, having a decent set of charge bars at lunch time (4pm today due to a later shift), I was surprised (I am being generous, my feelings were better described as something else but I won't use those words here) to see that again the battery status was in red and the pretty much as I left the building, it decided that there was not enough battery left to do anything of any value, turned off the mobile connection, and then 5 minutes later shut down completely. It took all my strength not to hurl the bloody thing across the car park.

Ok. So now I am amazed and appalled by this pathetic overreaction to the loss of the ability to communicate with people so lazily as my mobile phone allows. In my typical 'there's no middle ground' style (it's just one extreme or the other folks) where I was only recently considering changing to an iPhone 4 when my contract comes up for renewal, I am now considering NOT getting a new phone or contract at all.

Yeah right. Anyone want to take any bets on how long THAT idea will last ?

It's on ! It's on ! It's on !

GO GO GO GO GO...... GO ! 

What's with all the implied excitement I hear you ask ? Well, it's April 2nd and I've survived April fools day without any incidents to report. But THAT is not the cause of this unbridled enthusiasm. That is due to Script Frenzy 2011 now being 'live' and me actually having a chance, against my expectations to get some script down.

I managed 5 pages last night. Not sure that they are very good pages, but I am remembering that for the month of April, and for that script I will be suspending my 'inner editor', my 'inner critic', my 'inner poo-poo-er of things' and all their relatives, friends and family. I will need them all for the work that Helen and I have to do today on The Fatcat And The Grafter. Would be rather pointless doing a rewrite of that script without inviting at least an 'inner editor' along.

5 Pages ! Yeeek ! I'm off (wondered what the smell was). Talking of smell, the flat really needs a clean, but I have so many other things that I want to do that are, well, more interesting. Must clean, clean the flat, clear my head. I'm going to scrub at and vacuum away the grime that acts as a barrier to my creativity, and let it shine.

Also, in other news, I've only got a week more of work and then I'm off for a week ! Yippeee. The week off being punctuated by two really great things, (I have noticed how many times I have said that lately, like I'm always trying to make a list out of everything in life, but really suck at it because I only do two). Those two things being that Chloe is coming to stay, and that hopefully I will get to pick up the kittens next weekend.

I need something fawn over, and gush about how cute it is that isn't made by Apple ? I need to have an interruption to my rather set ways and 'spotless' living environment. Yup that's right, I think my lovely new flat is too clean, too tidy so I'm going to introduce two baby cats (kittens to you) to help mess things up a bit. My Mother thinks that I am mad. This is possibly not untrue.

Anyways, the script....

© Simon Sansbury, April 2011. A PDF can of Laptop, can be found here :- Laptoppdfcanbefoundhere

One script finished (almost)... another starts

One o'clock in the morning... now 60 minutes into script frenzy 2011. Two things are terribly apparent.

One. That although Helen and I have finished writing the play 'The Fatcat And The Grafter', we do still need to edit / rewrite it before the read through on Monday. (This will mean that I cannot devote Saturday to some one on one time with my frenzy script)

Two. I really wish that I could sit and blast out, in an energetic eruption of creativity, a few pages, but I'm honestly too knackered to do that right now.

I will probably take my netbook to work, so that I can work on 'netbook'. I haven't sat down and worked out the characters, but I do have a pretty good idea of the flow of the narrative, so I will be able to get down a few pages before having to do any more really detailed planning.

Other exciting developments in the world of Fallible_Fella (is it cool to refer to your blogging name in the third person ? Possibly not). Well, Helen and I had more people turn up to rehearsal on Wednesday, and this meant that we were able to cast most of the roles in the show. There are still some that we haven't been able to give to anyone.

In a twist of fate, we now have more than enough men, and are unsure about how to cast the last few male roles. (Mycroft Cockburn, Trevor(s), Narrator). Starlight, the ditzy air-headed girl is a role we also have to fill, but currently do not have a girl that would be able to take the role on.

With some other people interested that may come along on Monday, we may well just be in a situation where we can have the show completely cast before we start rehearsals, and without me having to take a part. This is actually something that although  I have said all along I would want to avoid,  (incase someone backs out, we always have me as a backup) but now I think the realisation is dawning that I'm rather going to miss being on stage myself. I will, no doubt get to be in the 'filmed' pieces, assuming we can sort out the organisation of those and all the technological aspects.

Monday ? Did I say Monday ? Yes. That's right, we will be moving to two sessions a week as of next week. Exciting stuff. This only leaves us with 23 rehearsals to get the whole show ready, but I'm sure that we can do it. We may have to cram in some extra sessions somehow (god only knows when or where)... but it's all about the art of the possible.

The other fantastic news is that Helen finally got around to giving me the contact details of the lady that has some Kittens for sale. (I was so worried, I was having Kittens about it myself). She says they may be strong enough to leave their Mother in the next week or so. I feel instantly cruel, taring these poor kittens away from their Mummy. If they are up to it, I will be able to pick them up the weekend at the start of my holiday, this gives two rather brilliant effects, being that I will get to spend time with them as I will be on holiday to settle the little darlings in. The other being that I will have Chloe for a few days that week, so she will probably be inconsolably excited when she finds this out. I am trying to stop myself from telling her, so that it comes as a surprise.

Can I keep my mouth shut ?  Hmmm

Act II is done

Helen came round tonight and we have managed, against our expectations to finish the 2nd Act of The FatCat And The Grafter. There's lots of tidying up to do, and lots of things that we need to revisit in Act I that perhaps now don't go so well with how the script ended up. Still as the evolution of the show goes, this is good stuff.

We're meeting again on Saturday to work on those points, and then, room being available, we're meeting Monday to read through the completed play to the whole cast. Yay ! We will still have a couple of roles left to cast, which we don't have people for, and there's a couple that we need to let some of the people coming along try out to get a feel for who would be best at what. I could tell you who's got what, but... Shhh !! Spoilers !

This under wire performance, is actually ahead of our usual 'ah lets start rehearsing the first act before we've written the second' which is kind of what happened last time. It left us with a rather bloated 2nd act when we came panic write it, a month into the rehearsal schedule. What On Earth (is Happening) was a long play as a result, and that was with us taking a knife to large parts of the script in Act II, about a week before the show went up as we recall. Ooops. Thankfully the great bunch of people that we had in the cast were able to take that in their stride, but it's an unnecessary hassle and stress for all those concerned that we want to make sure we avoid this time.

It does also leave me in the situation where I won't be able to devote a weekend to attacking Script Frenzy, my script 'Netbook' with vengeance until probably the 2nd week of Frenzy. Then, although I have a week off work I do have Chloe for 4 days, which I am really looking forward to also. I am sure there is a way round it all. It's funny how I feel better when I am tasking myself with doing more, and then achieving it.

There are plenty of empty evenings, even once I exclude the ones where I will be involved with rehearsals for The FatCat And The Grafter. I remember last year, it was only some point into the month that I decided to abandon the joint project that Helen and I had started, and write something on my own. Hard work, focus, vision, determination. I can do this. I'm like a coiled zebra, ready to pounce, and stripy.

Same *bleep* different day

I'm curiously aware that I should be careful what I wish for.

I am so glad that this week is over, it really has been a supreme struggle, where I have been pretty close to giving up. I've managed to stop myself resorting to a spot of Apple based retail therapy as a compensation. It does look distractingly gorgeous, and is sooooo nice..... But, in reality it would be foolish to engage in any more big ticket expenditure. Especially with things feeling so fragile at work at the moment.

When I cast back to how I have felt at similarly low point before, I can see that at least on this occasion I am aware that I am not in a good place, that things need to change, before something else happens that forces that change in a more uncontrollable and destructive way. I'm not going to allow this situation, brought about as it feels by the particular demands of certain people to ruin my life.

If the way I feel good is when I have a clear plan, and when I am achieving steps towards a well defined goal, then it is a new plan that I need.

The world breaks everyone, and after, some are stronger in the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway.

The clocks go forward by an hour shortly, what is it that the people of the UK will do when they realise tomorrow that they have been cheated out of an hour ? Personally I will probably just be really pissed that I didn't get to spend another hour in bed, and get on with the rest of my day.

Tomorrow Helen is coming over, and we're hoping to finish the rest of the play, and then go back over the obvious flaws in Act I. If we can manage this, it would mean that at next weeks rehearsal, not only will we be able to announce the casting for most of the characters in the show, but that we will also be able to give people a near final draft version of the script.

THEN... it's onto the next big thing... 2011 Script Frenzy. There do seem to be some post-its missing, and this may be because some of them fell off the wall (serves me right for buying £1 shop post-it notes), or it may have something to do with me finding a couple of them stuffed down the back of Chloe's bed. Grrrrrr.

Just when you think things can only get worse....

Well, lots of things are going down the shitter at the moment, but I am really glad to report that the play certainly isn't one of them.

We had a bit of a sad realisation last week when it suddenly dawned on us that we had fair few people coming to the workshop/rehearsals that were never going to actually be able to be in the play. (due to previous commitments). A mild, ok, less than mild set of panic set in, shortly followed by the determination to find a way of resolving this issue as soon as possible. (Or ASAP, as Jamie would say).

So, Helen and I asked the people at this weeks session to confirm if they were going to be able to be in the show, and also in which characters they were interested. This revealed real surprises itself, as has always been the case in our previous plays, what we normally find out is that the people that have shown themselves to be best at playing a particular role, the ones that shine at one part or another, are the ones that are interested in it. We've never had auditions, we've never really needed to. It always works out that in the workshop sessions and 'energised' readings of parts of the play someone stands out for each and every role.  Everyone shines at one role or another, and this means that there isn't so much a competition for any part, more an evolution and natural progression.

It also means that everyone has a chance to do something they enjoy and are really good at. It's so simple, and works so well, we really don't understand why there other drama companies don't seem to do the same.

With the people that we've got, which initially we thought was actually much less than it works out, we have been able at this point to definitely cast several of the roles in the play.

It wouldn't be right for me to announce them here, before we've had a chance to speak to everyone, and I don't want to kill the dramatic and exciting reveal at next weeks session.

The roles that we aren't immediately able to cast right now, we need to give those interested a chance to play with the characters. This will help us, and them to see who is the best person for that part.

I was starting to think that we were so short of people that we couldn't continue with the show, but as it's turned out this isn't the case. Isn't the case at all.

This has, in no small way been made possible by the help of The Phoenix Players. They have been great in putting people our way that aren't being used in their currently play (which is on the month before ours), and some of those (Steve, Allison) have been absolutely fantastic in helping drum up more interest and exposure. They've put us in touch with a chap that has a half hour slot on a local radio show, and will be able to raise the profile of the company and hopefully get along the last couple of people that we need. He's also going to be try and get us mentioned the big screen in Portsmouth Guildhall Square. It really does go to show that it's not what you know, its who.

So even if work is like a pile of dog excrement at the moment, I am at least revitalised, recharged and invigorated by the things happening outside. I can actually achieve things, I can get things done, make things happen. Not so useless after all, eh ?

Wow. What a day. As the journey to work progressed along, so did my feeling of impending dread. A depressing start with the greeting of a bunch of miserable faces. This day, however got off to a much better start thanks to an emotional and impressive time spent with a member of the team.

It's worth remembering that whenever I am feeling downtrodden and overwhelmed by the world, that returning to the basics and spending time with the people (sounds very, very cheesy, doesn't it ?) really works. It gives me hope, re-energises me and gives me the drive to carry on with the rest of the zone. Sometimes I find it easy to absorb all the negativity that some of them seem to exude on a daily basis.

Things can only get better ? They better had.

Last night's drama was not as inspiring as the previous week. Which was a shame. I was hoping that the unveiling of the first four scenes of act 2 would have gone better. Sadly Helen wasn't able to make it, as she wasn't feeling very well. Another couple of notable absences and some not inconsiderable tensions between two particular people may be to blame for the rather cool reaction. They may not. It may simply be that the script isn't up to scratch. It is a draft, after all, although I grow concerned that we risk losing some of the fantastic interest we have seen blossom recently because the script isn't completed. Helen and I are talking about meeting up either at the weekend this week, or early next week one evening and then again during the day on my day off.

This will mean we make some great progress toward actually finishing the damn thing. Then, oh then, the rewrite starts. We need to revisit first the aims and goals that we had for the show, the messages we wanted to get across, the situations we wanted to show. When I say messages, I don't mean there is a moral to the story, or that we are trying to be at all preachy. We aren't there isn't a moral to this story. The whole idea is to show people in their brilliant, wonderful ridiculousness and get people to laugh at that.

That's the idea anyway.

Write here, write now...

After the usual calamity that is work on a Monday (actually today it wasn't so bad), Helen came up to mine to do some more work on the script for The FatCat And The Grafter.

Despite starting relatively late, and both of us being progressively tired (and it's only the first day of the week ! eeeeek !) we have 'knocked out' three scenes this evening. Admittedly they are not very long scenes, but allow us the 'waaaahhaaaaayy' ok ?

Script is coming together, number of people is increasing. Progress by fuck is being made !

1001101101010

Was it really any surprise that I raced home after work today to get to spend some more time on my new shiny ?

Not really much of a revelation there. I have spent quite some time this evening getting to know it better. I have sadly not been able to complete the review of Kaos Absolute, the story of The Adventures Of Stephen Brown that I have been due to write for the last couple of months (hassle of moving, Christmas chaos and a lack of internet being the reasons for the delay), due to the footage seemingly not being encoded correctly. I can watch on of the four parts to the story, but sadly without the other three there' little point in me doing the review.

I guess the review will have to wait a little bit longer. I am a bit sad that after the success of yesterday's writing and rehearsal sessions that Helen and I weren't going to be able to meet up and get some more of the script written for the show. (The FatCat And The Grafter).

Work is feeling a heck load more possible what with a tweak to how we do things, and the efforts of a superhuman Louise, although I did have to spend 4 hours in a room today, going through a questionnaire that's meant to help the business figure out just how much we (don't) know. Good idea. Makes sense, as people's knowledge levels seem to be all over the place. But 4 hours ? Didn't even manage to finish the booklet in that time. I hope that doesn't mean that the conclusion the powers that be will take from the exercise is that I actually don't know anything, and have been blagging it the last 4 years. I haven't. Honest.