T minus 1

Being the last day of my 38th year, I decided to record a little video. Not really a lot to it, but anyhow... the video goes like this :-

I've been for a nice dinner at my Mum & Dad's tonight. It's not even actually my birthday yet, and I already have two great gifts. (The office tidy set from my daughter, and the money from my parents). I sense some clothes shopping is in order.

Poker face

Been so long since the last post, but what can I fill this one with that isn't pages and pages of anger and frustration ?

I know, let's fill it with love and understanding and.....

Ah bollocks to that !

This week has been hard. Looking back on last week's blog, I can see that this is becoming a regular thing, something that I am steadily accepting, and rather apathetically shrugging my shoulders and carrying on. With a tough, hard fought week at work where everything went mental (one of our competitors announced that they would be increasing their prices and it seemed that everyone in the world wanted to speak to us). On the good side, we have two new guys in our team who seem to be getting along really well, but have had great success to show some of the more established hands that you can do things if you put your mind to it. Progress with a couple of the team who have perhaps struggled to take charge of things, and seeing them realise that they can have an effect on their results if they chose to approach it in the right manner. Great to see, one in particular pretty much shining all week with a brilliant 'I am going to get this done and nothing's going to stop me' focus.

It has been non stop though, hard work. Really seeing the fruits of their hard labour. Feeling exhausted by the week, but elated with how things ended up.

It has been the usually roller coaster ride though of the highs and lows of elation and near depression. The yo-yo ride of emotion inside work has not at all coincided with the operation of the same ride outside of work. Elation at finally submitting the poster design to the printers, and getting some publicity material 'out there' has helped start off the week, but Monday's rehearsal left me feeling rather flat and with the desire to run away as fast as my legs could carry me. Wednesday, on the other hand, we focussed on going over and over a couple of the really intense scenes in the show. These are the ones with lots of things going on at the same time (our trademark chaos), and are hard to plan and direct. Even harder to execute with people still holding on to scripts for dear life.

With some gentle encouragement, they were able to drop their scripts (for the most part) and we got through three different scenes, with great progress being made in the timing and performance of all concerned. No easy feat, but was helped certainly with everyone actually dropping those pesky scripts and with all the cast actually being there, which must be about the first time that has happened.

Still only three weeks to go before the show. There is now a crowd from work going along, it will be great to have that support.

Guess what ?

Another flipping flat tyre !!! Seriously. What ?

Interesting couple of days. Work has been quite far from easy. At some point the reality that we are not doing as well as we think we are, and that action needs to be taken to correct that. Some people are not, I think being honest with themselves about how good they are. Others are overlooking how good they are, which is a damn shame.

Air conditioning not working on Saturday, which was a swelteringly hot day anyway, without having to spend 5 hours inside a baking hot call centre. Normally this wouldn't have been something that really bothered me (apart from the discomfort, and the smell - only kidding - there wasn't a smell) if it hadn't been for the fact that I was meeting up with a nice young lady after work, and hadn't really wanted the first time she met me for me to be this scruffy, sweaty dishevelled bloke getting off the bus.

We met up, as planned, after I had stopped into Tesco to get some food. (Cooked chicken and some salad). Met her at the bus stop and walked her round to mine, so that she could meet the kittens. Yup, that's right, so pathetic am I that I used my kittens as part of my chat-up routine. (yeah right, anyone that knows me, would really find the idea that I even indulged in chatting people up, let a lone that I had some sort of routine to follow hilarious. Routine. No. Spreadsheet - maybe).

She is a very nice girl, and it's amazing that even in this day and age when you get to know all sorts of things about people from the internet, from looking at facebook (oh common, you'd have a peek, wouldn't you ?), and that you get to see various images of them before meeting them for real, that they still look different and aren't entirely how you imagined them.

My imagination could never have envisioned how gorgeous she is, nor could I have realised what sort of a person she is, or the things that she's been through. Makes me think perhaps I should shut the fuck up moaning about my life. Like the saying goes, there's always someone worse off than you.

How do these sort of things work ? I've never known how to interact with people at the best of times, let a lone beautiful women, who probably think 'god what a plonker'. I think the standard advise, is 'be yourself', be 'cool'. Cool ? I've never been cool. Bow Ties are more cool than I am. Fezzes are more cool than I am. I am most definitely a mad man with a box.

The situation that I wrote about the other week, between myself and my creative partner, Helen is not going away. I received a rather long email from her last night, which I have had to stop myself from responding to. I can say how I feel, but I don't feel that I can without hurting my friend. I am also feeling frustrated that we seem to have covered the same ground, again and again, and my point of view doesn't seem to be sinking in.  I feel at the moment, sadly that the very best we can hope for is that we can get this show produced and finished with without irrevocably damaging our friendship. I don't bare grudges, it actually takes a lot to really piss me off, but I can be belligerent and judgemental. I do like to know that I am right (but this only gives me any comfort whatsoever if I actually am right).

What's a guy to do ? I'd like an easy, relaxing hassle free part to my life, please. I guess that's not going to happen any time soon, now. Is it ?

Oh yes, did I not mention. Another flat flipping tyre, now repaired, I can only hope that it stays repaired.

... and where was it you spent your Wednesday evening Simon ?

In the toilet.

With some friends.

I think I'd better explain. Quickly.

Upon hearing that we would be 4 people short for Wednesday's rehearsal we struck upon an ingenious plan. (Okay, so maybe I'm only saying it's ingenious because it was my idea). Having already noticed that we were struggling to arrange for people to be together to do the filmed pieces for the show, we decided that we would film some of them with the people that were able to attend that session.

This meant that the 'Dumping Ground' scenes. So, in rather a rush, and nothing less than an absolute hurry, we did indeed mange to film four segments.

This only leaves us with two to do from the toilets. The rest of the filmed spots will need to be shot in my flat. We didn't finish till very late, but it was well worth it. While all this was going on, Helen was busy going over a couple of scenes with some of the rest of the cast.

Both Helen and I are getting really worried about the amount of lines that people have actually learned. The play really does need people to be natural as possible, and they sure can't do that whilst holding the heavy tome that is the script.

Another thing that had been worrying us (along with all the other things to think about regarding the show) is that we don't have a poster.

Well not anymore. Lin's friend, Mo Welch, who has done a brilliant poster for us emailed it across to me today, and I then spent the afternoon messing around in iphoto to get the other information onto the picture.

Helen and I are very pleased with the result.